A blog about a blogger (and, well, other things, like having a dog)

I was literally (literally, literally, not that bullshit "literally" crap that people talk about all the time, like, "I'm literally so full, I'm about to explode!" no you're not, kill yourself, learn English) about to go to bed when I read this awesome lady's blog and I was like, "I literally need to write a counterpart blog to this blog." ...and then shit got real meta. Like, REALLY meta.

First of all fuck you facebook,

I really don't give a fuck about most of the shit you show me. I "like" about one gazillion pages (number unconfirmed) on facebook -- and how much shit do I see from the shit I wanna see? the shit I like? ....well, about 9%. (number unconfirmed, but that's what it feels like)

I digress.

The point here is that I think awesome, beautiful, funny, smart Chrissy should get a fuggin dog.
I really do.

Like, I really do.

I read that shit and I hopped up off my fat ass - and first, I cried because I had nothing left to mix with my vodka, then I made a  two-quart concoction of some powdered bullshit I don't endorse & MIO, this shit I fully endorse because it makes my husband happy & vodka, duh. The pouring and mixing of all that vodka sounds made me have to pee. So, then, I peed, but I already had the idea to write this blog, so I peed, but I was rushing to blog, so I tried to prematurely wipe and I peed on my hand a little. So, then, I washed my hands, extra.

Then, I scrambled around my house looking for my computer (because, based on my blog activity, clearly I don't use my computer enough), then I put my new awesome-ass headphones in, no seriously, they're awesome.

So, I found my computer, made my husband take my meta-ass pic, took a swig, and got down to it. Now, I love writing a good ole Letterman-style top 10 list, and I COULD. NOT. RESIST. Writing this blog, if not for the sole purpose to fuck-with Chrissy (because, clearly, I love her), but because, well, I'm drunk as shit.

So, without further [drunken] adieu:
The Top 10 Reasons Chrissy should get a dog (especially because it annoys her that the interwebs say that she should)
....wait I need  to make another clusterfuckdrink, damnit, I talk too much, brb..

OK back.

1)  dogs are the best companions
2) you can only fuck with your significant other so much, dogs bring the endless fuckining
3) (serious) when you're sad, they know and make you smile, and even when they pass away you can look at shit like this and they still make you smile
4) their bad, awful, terrible fart smells give you something to blame when you toot.
5) their feet smell delicious
6) because then, you too, can be an annoying www'er
7) have you met my dog? C'mon!
8) A doggy fistbump WILL make you forget the disappointment your soul feels for living on the same planet as those Jersey shore fuckheads.
9) Long car ride? No problem; cuteass shotgun'er, every.fuggin.time.
10) ENDLESS SNUGGLE PARTY

I love you Quirky Chrissy!!!!
Do you like me?
Please circle one:

YES        NO


(please circle YES)


~BBS

P.S. if ANYONE EVER posts some crazy nonsense like this about this how I should have a kid, I'll slit their throat. #KiddingNotKidding